you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
