I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Everything about him screamed your future.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
