he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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