ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
you never un-have a 4some
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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