i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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