you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
