problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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