Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
