"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
