Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
