If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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