"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize