marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Where is the hickey?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
