Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
