I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
