Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
