Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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