It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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