i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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