I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
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Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
whose ass print is on the piano?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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