just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Randomize
