what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
