It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
