ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
