she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
