uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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