Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
