so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
