I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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