here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
