Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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