Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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