should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
