Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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