The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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