So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
