oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
