I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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