I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
