these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
