look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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