I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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