i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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