we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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