I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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