come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
