You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
