yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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