hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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