I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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