it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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