Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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