I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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