Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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