Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
