i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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