Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
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Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
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Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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