If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
