I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
