my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
