So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
