His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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